Not too many years ago I sat in chapel at Indiana Wesleyan University and heard this quote from a man who would become one of my favorite professors. I never had him for an actual class, but he was our chaplain and I ended up working with him when I lead worship for many chapels. Even before I knew his name, he spoke these words that would sink into the core of my being and stay with me, well at least until today. "Be where you are."
At the time I was a freshman and believe me, this was no easy task. I had a boyfriend back home, I missed my family and friends terribly and I longed to be back in my comfort zone once again. Even though his words were profound I didn't let them affect me that first semester. I would talk to my boyfriend several hours a night, sit in my room, and do anything but form and develop relationships with my peers. I dreamed of the day I could be married and have children. It was literally all I wanted. I tried to convince my boyfriend we should get engaged, way before either of us were ready. It saddens me to think about all the conversations with my roommate that went unsaid, the sand volleyball games that I wasn't a part of, the open mics I didn't sing at. Thankfully God had other plans for me, I ended the relationship with my boyfriend, asked God to help me find friends who I could share my college years with and got my head in the game.
That is until a year or so went by and I was still single. Still waiting. One by one I would see my single friends getting engaged with not even a prospect on my horizon. Instead of preparing my heart for marriage I spent many hours wishing away the days....not "being where I was." Missing out on late night adventures, taco bell runs (ok not missing out on much there), and painting my nails with my sweet mates. Or even when I was a part of the activities I wouldn't let myself completely be there, always having to keep my eye out for Mr. Right. It's funny how God works though. His timing is always better than my perfectly thought out plans. He brought my best friend to me when I was least expecting him.
I don't want this to sound like I didn't have a wonderful college experience, because I did. I met friends that I will keep for life. I had many wonderful experiences and did take part in a lot of the activities I mentioned before. I only wish that I had been better at following my professor's advice. To live in the moment. To throw myself into the here and now instead of simply dreaming of the future. I have to be honest, I can catch myself doing it again.
Even though I am in the season of life I dreamed of for years, I catch myself dreaming of the next vacation, or what it will be like when my kids are a little older. With the monotony of wiping noses, picking food up off the floor and putting away dishes all a thing of the past. But this is going to go fast enough without wishing away the weeks and months. Someday soon I will be longing to have these days back. Elijah will come home from school, shut himself in his room and talk about how annoying his mom is. And that day, that day I'll long for the months of drying off his little piggy toes and going to his room to comfort him in the middle of the night.
I want to be where I am. Even though it is so easy to wish I lived closer to my family. I want to be where I am. Even though I miss my best friends in South Dakota. I want to be where I am. Even though I am sick of being pregnant. I want to be where I am. I want to joyfully cook my husband supper, and gratefully put on the socks and shoes over and over and over again. Because I truly do count it a blessing to be a wife and mother.
Help me God to be where I am, right now in this season of my life.