Just sitting here feeling completely rejuvenated by the Holy Spirit today. Worship started out different for me this morning. It was almost as if there was a spirit of oppression over the entire sanctuary. I kept praying that the Holy Spirit would come and change my heart and attitude (and that He would do the same for the entire congregation). Things kept going wrong with the service, videos skipped and transitions were muddied. But I just kept praying through it.
I know being the music pastor's wife plays a huge role in me noticing these small distractions. I am emotionally and mentally tied to the whole order of the service because I know Ryan has put his heart and soul into every detail. I also know how the Devil is constantly at work trying to distract us from the leading and tugging of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes I only wish that I could be oblivious to the minute distractions so I could totally and completely surrender to worshipping our most high God. Because that is what going to church is for right? That is why I look forward to weekends away... or Saturday nights at Celebrate (a church plant in Sioux Falls) because we aren't emotionally invested in the service. Don't get me wrong! I love leading people into the throne room, I am passionate about seeing souls stripped naked before a gracious God.... but sometimes you need someone to lead you there yourself.
Thankfully through prayer I was able to tune out the distractions and fully concentrate on the cross.
The beautiful cross.
The forsaken cross.
The rugged cross.
Our theme today was about truly needing the cross. That there is no salvation in works or deeds or perfect living. But only in the cross. I tried to envision myself clinging to the cross. Not just the saying we hear or sing in songs.... but actually wrapping my arms around the base of that twisted piece of wood and holding on for dear life. Because it is the only way.
The only way.
The only way to be saved from this sick and twisted world. The only way to be saved from my thoughts of hopelessness, my addictive behaviors, my selfishness, my complete and utter depravity.
I am so thankful this morning for that cross. The one that my Savior hung on and died upon. Because without out it there would be no hope to move forward. And I'll admit that I am a weak person...I couldn't go on in this life without hope. I just couldn't do it. And it just so happens that I'm not supposed to.
I pray that you have that hope today.
If you don't, feel free to email me if you have any questions about his hope I cling to: firstname.lastname@example.org